1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,750 I thought about starting at the beginning. 4 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,333 But that's not how I remember it. 5 00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:27,625 It's all a series of... fragments. 6 00:03:30,417 --> 00:03:31,833 Repetitions. 7 00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:37,125 Pattern formations. 8 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:01,583 When there are no words for the pain... 9 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:09,250 ...let your imagination change what you know. 10 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,625 Conglomerates. Conglomerates. 11 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,208 Movement of land in the freedom of water. 12 00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:20,708 A ring around a rock is luck. Smoothed... 13 00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:23,042 Smoothed into a small thing. 14 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:28,750 Sandstone is soothing and lucid. Shale, of course, is rational. 15 00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:30,708 Red rock is earth blood. 16 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,458 You believe in blue. 17 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,375 I'm sorry. 18 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,333 I'm sorry. 19 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,042 Memories... 20 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,458 ...are stories. 21 00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:14,708 So you better come up with one you can live with. 22 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,208 Smiley face. 23 00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:43,833 Flower. 24 00:05:56,375 --> 00:05:57,833 Christmas tree. 25 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,375 Stop. 26 00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:25,083 Claudia, go upstairs. 27 00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:26,167 Go! 28 00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:30,208 Move! 29 00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:39,375 You just let me know when you're finished. 30 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:41,708 We can do this all night. 31 00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:52,875 Ah, fuck it! 32 00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:37,458 I think it'll feel nice, Claudia. I really think it will. 33 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:38,875 Fix you right up. 34 00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:42,875 Fix you right up! 35 00:07:52,917 --> 00:07:54,625 Sing with me, Belle. 36 00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,750 ♪ Oh, my darlin' 37 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:58,458 ♪ Oh, my darlin' 38 00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:02,208 ♪ Oh, my darlin' Clementine ♪ 39 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,250 Come on, Lidia Belle. Sing with me. 40 00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:06,250 You know all the lyrics. 41 00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:10,625 ♪ You're lost and gone forever 42 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,500 ♪ Dreadful sorrow... ♪ 43 00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:16,292 It was my voice that left. 44 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,792 Sometimes I think it arrived on paper. 45 00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:25,042 I wrote... Pictures and true things. 46 00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:27,958 ...lies interchangeably. It made me feel like... 47 00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:31,750 - Made me feel like someone else. - Oh, for Christ's sake! 48 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:36,042 - I wrote words to belong to. - That is your daughter! 49 00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,083 Not daughter. 50 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:40,708 To swimmer. 51 00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:42,792 To safety. 52 00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:44,792 To girls. 53 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:47,708 Make my skin hot. My head hurt, my... 54 00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:49,833 Mother. Her hair. 55 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,333 Her scar. 56 00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:53,292 Her stories. 57 00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:57,250 I won a prize for that story, Belle. 58 00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:59,208 And your daddy... 59 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,167 ...won an art prize for this drawing. 60 00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:09,042 How gone she was. 61 00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,333 And my sister. My adoration. 62 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:19,042 My sister. My awe. 63 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,583 You look like a bum in that dumpy sack shirt. 64 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:23,833 It does nothing for you. 65 00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:25,958 Look at me. 66 00:09:27,625 --> 00:09:29,833 You trying to look like a man? 67 00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:32,792 My sister. Taking everything. 68 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,667 Before you were even born. 69 00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:11,292 In the house. 70 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,083 Alone in my room. 71 00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:17,708 My arms ache. 72 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,958 My sister is gone. 73 00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:23,333 My mother is... 74 00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:25,542 ...gone. 75 00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:30,208 My father designs houses in the room next to mine. 76 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,792 He's smoking. 77 00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:47,167 Hey, honey. 78 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,333 Hey. 79 00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,542 I wait for 5 am. 80 00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:13,583 I pray... 81 00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,250 ...to swim. 82 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,958 My baby girl. 83 00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:39,208 Growing up so fast. 84 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,292 A teenager. 85 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,083 In high school. I can't believe it. 86 00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:54,042 All right. Line up. 87 00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:56,708 Ladies, weigh in. You know the drill. 88 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,083 One lick for every pound you're over. 89 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:00,083 Torres. 90 00:12:01,917 --> 00:12:02,958 Atta girl. 91 00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:13,292 That's right. 92 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,458 There you go. 93 00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:17,375 Reimer. Three pounds. 94 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:23,708 Faster. 95 00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:27,792 Come on, baby. 96 00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:29,958 Harder. 97 00:12:41,375 --> 00:12:44,208 Yuknavitch. One for you, freshman. 98 00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:46,042 So we'll make it count. 99 00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:07,417 Go! 100 00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,375 How many miles does it take... 101 00:13:25,292 --> 00:13:26,708 ...to swim... 102 00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:32,292 ...to a self? 103 00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:37,167 How... 104 00:13:37,792 --> 00:13:38,708 ...many... 105 00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:40,583 ...fucking... 106 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:42,167 ...miles? 107 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,417 We set a record! 108 00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:52,333 - We set a fucking record! - Yes! 109 00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:55,333 We are proud to announce that our 200-yard medley relay 110 00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:57,583 gold-medal winners from the Florida Aquatic Swim Team 111 00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:59,958 have achieved the best time in the entire nation. 112 00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,833 Congratulations. 113 00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:03,458 Scouts are watching, seniors. 114 00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,583 So, you really want this, huh? 115 00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:38,333 OK. 116 00:14:58,167 --> 00:15:00,458 You only got a three-quarter ride. 117 00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:06,333 Hey, if they wanted you, 118 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:09,958 they would have offered the whole nine yards, huh? 119 00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:29,292 "We are delighted to offer a partial scholarship." 120 00:15:30,583 --> 00:15:33,458 Half. You're better than that. 121 00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:37,833 Last one. 122 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,167 In my head, I swam laps. 123 00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:59,333 Didn't even get one full ride. 124 00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,042 Hey. Don't blame me. 125 00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,417 If they don't want you, you don't belong there. 126 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:10,167 I could taste blood. 127 00:16:10,292 --> 00:16:12,458 The answer is no. 128 00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:14,458 Why? 129 00:16:21,792 --> 00:16:23,875 Because he could. 130 00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:28,125 What? 131 00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:29,958 And I was his. 132 00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,833 Hey. Look at me. 133 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,208 Look at me. 134 00:17:08,042 --> 00:17:09,792 I only want the best for you. 135 00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:12,958 You know that. 136 00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,417 I knew he could feel it. 137 00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:20,958 That pink muscle. 138 00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:22,833 Pushing. 139 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,292 And pushing. 140 00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:29,042 You should be warming up. 141 00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:30,958 For all of its worth. 142 00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,167 Hey, Lidia. 143 00:17:39,042 --> 00:17:42,458 Do you need a hand? I'm a coach from Texas Tech. 144 00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,875 I'm excited to meet you. Let's talk. 145 00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:49,417 We'd like to have you on our team. 146 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:09,708 Yes. 147 00:18:15,708 --> 00:18:17,583 I almost loved her. 148 00:18:24,292 --> 00:18:25,667 Let's go, Belle. 149 00:18:52,042 --> 00:18:54,292 Cos I know you! I know what you do! 150 00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:57,042 And it is disgusting! You hear me? 151 00:18:57,167 --> 00:18:59,167 It's fucking disgusting, Lidia! 152 00:18:59,292 --> 00:19:01,667 You should be ashamed of your... 153 00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:06,292 Lidia! 154 00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,625 This is control. 155 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,167 I am controlling myself. 156 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,542 You don't know how far I can go. 157 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:42,250 My bedroom holds the wet and the dark of my body. 158 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:47,917 It smells like my sweat... 159 00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:50,500 ...and chlorine. 160 00:20:03,417 --> 00:20:05,667 Hey. Can't sleep, huh? 161 00:20:06,542 --> 00:20:07,625 Yeah. Me neither. 162 00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:21,333 Come here. I want to talk to you. 163 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,625 Listen. I'm sorry I've been so hard on you lately. 164 00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:32,917 I guess I just... 165 00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,792 ...really worry about you out there. 166 00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:41,833 Things are gonna be different when you go to college. 167 00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:44,542 I want you to listen to me. 168 00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:47,417 He narrated what boys would do to me. 169 00:20:49,542 --> 00:20:53,417 How they would put their dirty hands up my skirt and fingerfuck me. 170 00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:55,792 Fondle my tits. 171 00:20:59,417 --> 00:21:00,542 Suck them. 172 00:21:02,708 --> 00:21:05,125 How disgusting boys would be. 173 00:21:07,042 --> 00:21:10,917 Their hands, their hips wanting in and up. 174 00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:12,792 And their dicks. 175 00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:14,792 And his. 176 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,542 Me sitting next to him. 177 00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:23,042 Feeling the heat of him without even looking. 178 00:22:22,667 --> 00:22:24,292 What you doing out here? 179 00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:33,333 What's the matter with you, huh? 180 00:22:37,792 --> 00:22:39,667 I want you to know that, um... 181 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,042 ...that I love you. 182 00:22:53,042 --> 00:22:54,042 Huh. 183 00:23:02,625 --> 00:23:04,500 You're a fucking whore. 184 00:23:12,292 --> 00:23:14,167 You have something to say to me? 185 00:23:15,292 --> 00:23:16,167 Huh? 186 00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:25,333 Fuck you, motherfucker. 187 00:23:25,458 --> 00:23:28,042 What did you...? What did you just say? 188 00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:32,417 Fuck you... 189 00:23:33,417 --> 00:23:35,042 ...motherfucker. 190 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:40,708 Get the fuck OUT OF MY WAY! 191 00:24:18,042 --> 00:24:19,667 All I thought... 192 00:24:25,417 --> 00:24:27,750 ...was my own wide-open cunt. 193 00:24:33,042 --> 00:24:34,542 As open as a mouth... 194 00:24:35,667 --> 00:24:36,750 ...screaming... 195 00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,083 Mother... Mother... Mother... 196 00:24:38,208 --> 00:24:39,167 ...fucker. 197 00:24:42,042 --> 00:24:44,000 Motherfucker. 198 00:25:03,792 --> 00:25:05,917 I didn't know a girl body could do that. 199 00:25:09,042 --> 00:25:10,750 Shoot cum. 200 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:45,125 My own thoughts. Mine. My own space. 201 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:47,792 My own booze. My own days. My own nights. 202 00:25:47,917 --> 00:25:51,125 Mine. My own sex. My own booze. 203 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,625 My own food. My own thoughts. My own friends. Mine. 204 00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:57,167 Mine. 205 00:26:00,208 --> 00:26:01,542 Mine. 206 00:26:02,625 --> 00:26:04,000 Mine, mine, mine, mine. 207 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,625 My own freedom. 208 00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:24,875 My, my, my, my, mine. 209 00:26:30,375 --> 00:26:33,417 Like something pressed so far down in a body... 210 00:26:35,375 --> 00:26:37,083 ...it had to explode. 211 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:42,500 Yuk! 212 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:49,375 Where do you think you're going? 213 00:26:51,292 --> 00:26:52,375 I know you. 214 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:56,917 You're going nowhere. 215 00:27:26,917 --> 00:27:28,417 ♪ Oh, my darlin' 216 00:27:28,542 --> 00:27:30,125 ♪ Oh, my darlin'... ♪ 217 00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:32,917 ♪ Oh, my darlin' Clementine... ♪ 218 00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:38,167 ♪ You were lost and gone forever 219 00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:41,167 ♪ Oh, my darlin' Clementine... ♪ 220 00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:50,625 So far from my father. So far from... 221 00:27:50,750 --> 00:27:54,417 So far from my father. So far from my father. My father. 222 00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:56,458 So far from my father. 223 00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:09,000 I just want... 224 00:28:18,417 --> 00:28:20,000 I love your hands. 225 00:28:21,667 --> 00:28:23,167 I love your voice. 226 00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:29,167 It's my father and my brother who have the real voices. 227 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,792 I always hear them in my head. 228 00:28:33,917 --> 00:28:34,917 Really? 229 00:28:37,042 --> 00:28:38,375 What are they saying? 230 00:28:42,583 --> 00:28:44,583 They're singing "Amazing Grace... 231 00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,250 Voices of God. 232 00:28:51,583 --> 00:28:52,958 Fuck me. 233 00:28:54,208 --> 00:28:55,208 Yeah. 234 00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:59,000 No. Really. 235 00:29:00,375 --> 00:29:01,375 Fuck me. 236 00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:13,500 Poor Phillip. 237 00:29:16,375 --> 00:29:18,792 I wish I could go back and apologise. 238 00:29:32,875 --> 00:29:38,125 ♪ The way it's been going 239 00:29:39,750 --> 00:29:42,333 ♪ And I know that peace will come... ♪ 240 00:29:43,625 --> 00:29:46,250 Fuck all y'all! 241 00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:48,500 Eat me! 242 00:29:48,625 --> 00:29:50,042 ♪ I've been a-searchin' 243 00:29:51,583 --> 00:29:54,000 ♪ For the dolphins... ♪ 244 00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:57,500 Just a regular James Taylor, 245 00:29:57,625 --> 00:30:01,250 singin' his heart out here in Texas! 246 00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:05,500 ♪ And sometimes I wonder 247 00:30:06,625 --> 00:30:10,750 ♪ Do you ever think of me? 248 00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:18,542 ♪ This world may never change 249 00:30:21,583 --> 00:30:27,000 ♪ The way it's been going 250 00:30:28,375 --> 00:30:31,208 ♪ And I know that peace will come ♪ 251 00:30:37,250 --> 00:30:39,833 Lidia... why do you always do that? 252 00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:50,125 It's funny. Come on. It's funny. You know it. 253 00:30:54,125 --> 00:30:56,500 - You're such... - ...such a pussy! 254 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,375 Come on. Learn how to take a... 255 00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,125 ...joke. You're so fucking sensitive. 256 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,500 This is probably one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen. 257 00:31:13,208 --> 00:31:17,125 This is what I'm... This is what I'm talking about. 258 00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:21,167 It's like... It's like talking to a fucking doorknob. 259 00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:24,000 Why don't you say something? 260 00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:26,125 Will you say anything? 261 00:31:26,250 --> 00:31:28,208 I'm being a fucking bitch, 262 00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:30,750 so why don't you do something about it? 263 00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:34,125 You're... 264 00:31:34,250 --> 00:31:35,750 You're not a bitch. 265 00:31:38,875 --> 00:31:40,500 Fuck you, Phillip! 266 00:31:42,625 --> 00:31:45,500 You don't even fucking know me, Phillip! 267 00:32:09,750 --> 00:32:10,958 Phillip... 268 00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:14,625 ...means "lover of horses". 269 00:32:16,583 --> 00:32:18,000 Goddamn. 270 00:32:19,083 --> 00:32:20,625 Or "brotherhood". 271 00:32:32,208 --> 00:32:34,500 Wake up, motherfucker! 272 00:32:51,250 --> 00:32:54,083 Hey, Lids. Want to get out of here? 273 00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:56,750 She's good, man. I'll take her back. 274 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,292 Hey, man. Shut that door. 275 00:33:04,958 --> 00:33:07,500 Just shut the goddamn door! 276 00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:11,000 Haven't seen you at practice. 277 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,875 Yeah. I flunked out. 278 00:33:15,917 --> 00:33:17,250 That's cool. 279 00:33:30,083 --> 00:33:32,875 I can still feel my face. 280 00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:46,333 Addiction is in me for sure. 281 00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:53,167 But I want to describe something else to you, something smaller. 282 00:33:55,458 --> 00:33:56,875 It's a smaller word. 283 00:33:58,875 --> 00:33:59,875 Mama? 284 00:34:02,833 --> 00:34:05,875 So small it could travel a bloodstream. 285 00:34:10,875 --> 00:34:12,333 Go away, Belle. 286 00:34:23,625 --> 00:34:24,750 Hm. 287 00:34:27,875 --> 00:34:29,250 Go away, Belle! 288 00:34:40,125 --> 00:34:41,750 Stay away. 289 00:34:43,375 --> 00:34:45,417 This isn't anything for you. 290 00:34:47,333 --> 00:34:49,375 I'm not talking 'bout anything. 291 00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:53,208 I'm not talking 'bout anything. 292 00:35:03,083 --> 00:35:04,875 I'm not talking about anything. 293 00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:15,500 Dorothy? 294 00:35:16,083 --> 00:35:18,250 Get up. Get up. Get up. 295 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,750 I'm sorry! 296 00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,500 I'm sorry. 297 00:35:56,500 --> 00:35:59,292 Yeah. Lidia... 298 00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:02,750 ...you can talk to us. 299 00:36:03,625 --> 00:36:04,667 It helps. 300 00:36:05,833 --> 00:36:06,833 Trust me. 301 00:36:22,458 --> 00:36:25,208 - I'm not talking about anything. - Mm. 302 00:36:26,375 --> 00:36:28,750 You know, I always like to say, uh... 303 00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:34,208 ...find meaning in life's traffic... 304 00:36:35,792 --> 00:36:39,125 ...through clearing spiritual barriers. 305 00:36:59,625 --> 00:37:00,500 Uh... 306 00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:05,375 I'm proud of you. 307 00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:08,750 You know? 308 00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:13,500 Yeah. 309 00:37:15,125 --> 00:37:16,125 Yeah. 310 00:37:26,583 --> 00:37:27,583 Hey. 311 00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:32,750 Would you marry me? 312 00:37:59,750 --> 00:38:00,750 OK. 313 00:38:04,625 --> 00:38:07,750 ♪ And children have their dreams 314 00:38:08,417 --> 00:38:10,583 ♪ To hold on to 315 00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:16,125 ♪ And how they fly 316 00:38:16,250 --> 00:38:19,208 ♪ Take us to the moon 317 00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:22,625 ♪ Yes, they flow 318 00:38:23,375 --> 00:38:24,333 ♪ From you 319 00:38:26,292 --> 00:38:29,000 ♪ They flow from you 320 00:38:30,958 --> 00:38:32,250 ♪ And they flow 321 00:38:33,583 --> 00:38:34,833 ♪ From you 322 00:38:37,375 --> 00:38:40,625 ♪ And women have themselves 323 00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:42,875 ♪ To hold on to 324 00:38:45,958 --> 00:38:48,208 ♪ And how they fly 325 00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:51,125 ♪ Take me by surprise 326 00:38:53,208 --> 00:38:56,458 ♪ They float from me 327 00:38:57,458 --> 00:39:01,042 ♪ They float from me 328 00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:06,333 ♪ And they float from me... ♪ 329 00:39:12,458 --> 00:39:13,667 Aah! 330 00:39:14,917 --> 00:39:16,292 Fuck. 331 00:39:18,792 --> 00:39:20,458 Aw! 332 00:39:25,917 --> 00:39:26,833 Oh! 333 00:39:32,083 --> 00:39:33,458 Jesus. 334 00:39:38,583 --> 00:39:40,083 Sweetheart. 335 00:39:40,208 --> 00:39:41,542 You did so good. 336 00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:43,542 You did so good! 337 00:40:10,583 --> 00:40:12,042 I made you some tea. 338 00:40:12,708 --> 00:40:15,292 I don't want any tea. What are we gonna do? 339 00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:21,917 Lidia... I love you. 340 00:40:23,833 --> 00:40:26,958 And whatever you want to do, I'll support it. 341 00:40:31,917 --> 00:40:33,042 That's it? 342 00:40:38,333 --> 00:40:40,708 I need more than nothing 343 00:40:40,833 --> 00:40:43,708 from the most passive man on the fucking planet! 344 00:40:59,667 --> 00:41:01,542 Sorry. I've been kind of sick. 345 00:41:06,583 --> 00:41:08,208 You don't want anything. 346 00:41:08,333 --> 00:41:11,542 And you are killing me with your not wanting anything! 347 00:41:12,750 --> 00:41:15,167 - What were you thinking? - I don't know. 348 00:41:15,292 --> 00:41:18,333 I don't know. I don't know. It's fucking impossible. 349 00:41:19,208 --> 00:41:21,875 I can't stand how nice he... 350 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,833 I can't stand how nice he is, but... 351 00:41:24,917 --> 00:41:27,583 ...I couldn't have killed it either. 352 00:41:29,833 --> 00:41:31,208 I was thinking... 353 00:41:33,208 --> 00:41:35,583 ...maybe there's a world in which I... 354 00:41:37,292 --> 00:41:40,500 ...I come and... live with you in Eugene 355 00:41:40,625 --> 00:41:43,958 and take some classes where you're teaching and... 356 00:41:44,792 --> 00:41:47,917 I don't know. Maybe we could start, like, a little... 357 00:41:50,458 --> 00:41:51,458 ...family. 358 00:41:57,083 --> 00:42:00,083 - Yes. - Cos I think my life with him 359 00:42:00,208 --> 00:42:03,583 is gonna be, like, some sad, sad fucking country song. 360 00:42:03,708 --> 00:42:05,833 - And this is the only thing... - Lidia. Lidia. 361 00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:07,167 I said yes. 362 00:42:08,333 --> 00:42:09,333 Come home. 363 00:42:14,792 --> 00:42:15,792 OK. 364 00:42:18,833 --> 00:42:20,000 Cool. 365 00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,458 Because she left me once... 366 00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:27,208 ...to save her own life. 367 00:42:36,625 --> 00:42:39,375 What are you two doing back there, playing with yourselves? 368 00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:45,000 What? I bring them to the most beautiful scenery in the world, 369 00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:47,708 and they're just playing grab-ass? 370 00:42:50,083 --> 00:42:52,083 Look out the goddamn window! 371 00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:14,333 Claudia, grab the hacksaw from under your mother's seat. 372 00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:17,708 Come on! Let's go. 373 00:43:42,542 --> 00:43:44,542 Here you go, sweetheart. 374 00:43:44,667 --> 00:43:45,833 For sustenance. 375 00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:48,417 For sustenance. 376 00:43:50,917 --> 00:43:52,167 You don't want it? 377 00:43:59,958 --> 00:44:02,250 Come on, honey. Just have a little sip. It'll warm you up. 378 00:44:03,042 --> 00:44:04,083 Mmm. 379 00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:23,333 ♪ Blowin' bubbles soft and fine... ♪ 380 00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:35,833 Well, thank God. 381 00:44:43,583 --> 00:44:45,042 Where's the tree? 382 00:44:48,083 --> 00:44:49,167 Just... 383 00:44:53,458 --> 00:44:54,833 Hm. 384 00:44:56,958 --> 00:44:57,792 There. 385 00:44:59,333 --> 00:45:00,917 That's the picture. 386 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:12,292 Welcome home. 387 00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:13,417 Oh! 388 00:45:17,708 --> 00:45:20,042 Come on in. I'll get that. 389 00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,708 - Why? Cos I'm pregnant? - Yeah. 390 00:45:48,833 --> 00:45:51,208 - Here. - Thanks. 391 00:45:53,458 --> 00:45:54,458 Mm. 392 00:45:56,208 --> 00:45:57,208 Fuck. 393 00:46:01,083 --> 00:46:02,208 Argh! 394 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,292 Thank you, Claudia. 395 00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:18,292 Do you remember when you used to make me do things? 396 00:46:21,167 --> 00:46:22,333 Like... 397 00:46:23,167 --> 00:46:26,375 "Here. Bite this apple." 398 00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:27,833 Sock it in my mouth. 399 00:46:30,417 --> 00:46:32,208 "Here. Smell this ashtray." 400 00:46:32,333 --> 00:46:34,625 "Just blow it. One, two..." 401 00:46:35,083 --> 00:46:37,708 Ashes all over my fucking face. 402 00:46:42,250 --> 00:46:43,875 I would have done anything. 403 00:46:48,708 --> 00:46:50,625 You were mythic to me. 404 00:46:54,375 --> 00:46:57,500 I remember when I went downstairs after you moved into the basement. 405 00:46:58,625 --> 00:47:03,917 I didn't realise how smart that was then, but... 406 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:10,125 I used to look at all of your stuff and used to touch it. 407 00:47:12,042 --> 00:47:14,708 One time I found a razor blade in your purse. 408 00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:16,750 Cut myself on it. 409 00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:18,792 Made the fact that I had to pee hurt. 410 00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:34,250 I, um... 411 00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,417 I know that this is a... 412 00:47:40,417 --> 00:47:41,792 ...sacrifice. 413 00:47:43,792 --> 00:47:45,167 No. 414 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,292 It's just... 415 00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,417 ...you were so little... 416 00:48:00,250 --> 00:48:01,250 Yeah. 417 00:48:05,875 --> 00:48:06,875 Well... 418 00:48:09,542 --> 00:48:12,792 ...this is one way to Frankenstein your life. 419 00:48:21,458 --> 00:48:25,458 Maybe... I've been waiting for this. 420 00:48:50,042 --> 00:48:52,583 Yes. Breathe. 421 00:48:55,167 --> 00:48:56,167 I know. 422 00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:00,125 Come on. Come on. 423 00:49:02,042 --> 00:49:05,500 You... can... do it. 424 00:49:48,167 --> 00:49:49,167 Where is she? 425 00:49:51,917 --> 00:49:53,292 Can I hold her? 426 00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:56,542 Uh, yeah. 427 00:49:59,792 --> 00:50:02,875 Just one second. We're just cleaning her up. 428 00:50:27,292 --> 00:50:29,042 Her lips are pink. 429 00:50:31,750 --> 00:50:33,042 They're pink. 430 00:51:49,250 --> 00:51:50,250 Just... 431 00:51:51,917 --> 00:51:53,792 ...throw it as far as you can. 432 00:52:19,125 --> 00:52:20,625 It's not funny. 433 00:52:24,792 --> 00:52:25,792 Get it. 434 00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:46,625 Gah! 435 00:53:19,250 --> 00:53:20,250 Sorry. 436 00:53:48,958 --> 00:53:50,125 I know. 437 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:53,000 I know. 438 00:53:59,125 --> 00:54:01,500 Look. She's all over you. 439 00:54:03,833 --> 00:54:06,125 You're fucking laughing. 440 00:54:39,583 --> 00:54:41,875 What lived and died between us... 441 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,083 ...haunts me. 442 00:54:46,417 --> 00:54:47,417 Still. 443 00:54:51,125 --> 00:54:52,917 Goddamn, girl. 444 00:54:53,042 --> 00:54:54,792 What are you, some kind of mermaid? 445 00:54:56,667 --> 00:54:57,917 Yep. 446 00:55:03,542 --> 00:55:04,750 You got something to say? 447 00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:07,875 No way. 448 00:55:10,250 --> 00:55:11,708 Come on. 449 00:55:13,083 --> 00:55:16,000 You deserve this. You don't want to come with me? 450 00:55:17,042 --> 00:55:19,292 This is crazy. I'm not even a grad student. 451 00:55:19,417 --> 00:55:21,250 I'm just trolling the English department. 452 00:55:21,375 --> 00:55:24,542 You think Kesey gives a rat's ass about U of O rules? 453 00:55:24,667 --> 00:55:28,417 - You will regret not doing this. - They won't even let me enrol. 454 00:55:28,542 --> 00:55:30,667 Bullshit. I already told him about you. 455 00:55:31,667 --> 00:55:32,667 The... 456 00:55:33,750 --> 00:55:34,667 These... 457 00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,167 He's gonna love you. 458 00:55:44,417 --> 00:55:46,792 You don't want to write a novel with Ken Kesey? 459 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,375 Hey, everyone. Um... Hey, everybody. Hey. 460 00:56:15,292 --> 00:56:16,250 You're an idiot. 461 00:56:16,958 --> 00:56:18,958 Hi. Um, this is Lidia. 462 00:56:21,542 --> 00:56:23,000 - Say hi. - Hi. 463 00:56:26,208 --> 00:56:29,542 Well, hello. What do we have here? 464 00:56:29,667 --> 00:56:31,375 A triple-A tootsie? 465 00:56:35,167 --> 00:56:36,875 I know what happened to you. 466 00:56:40,583 --> 00:56:42,333 Death is a motherfucker. 467 00:56:54,292 --> 00:56:55,375 Shit. 468 00:56:56,292 --> 00:56:57,042 - Jeff. - Yes? 469 00:56:57,167 --> 00:57:01,167 You think you can roll one? I hate sitting in a room full of writers. 470 00:57:01,292 --> 00:57:02,292 Sure. 471 00:57:11,792 --> 00:57:13,292 The chair will be fine. 472 00:57:14,917 --> 00:57:16,667 I want you all... 473 00:57:22,542 --> 00:57:24,542 I want you all to be winners. 474 00:57:25,042 --> 00:57:28,417 I want you to be warriors. 475 00:57:29,625 --> 00:57:30,875 Warriors. 476 00:57:31,667 --> 00:57:33,542 I'll give you the warrior test. 477 00:57:33,667 --> 00:57:37,167 Uh... Shit floats. Cream rises. 478 00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:40,375 Shit floats. Jerry Rubin. 479 00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:44,000 Cream rises. 480 00:57:51,750 --> 00:57:52,750 Ferlinghetti. 481 00:57:55,792 --> 00:57:56,792 Lord Buckley. 482 00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,167 Lenny Bruce. 483 00:58:00,292 --> 00:58:01,375 The greats. 484 00:58:03,750 --> 00:58:05,542 I want you to be great. 485 00:58:07,833 --> 00:58:09,042 Shit, somebody... 486 00:58:10,500 --> 00:58:13,167 ...has got to create our culture for the next 50 years. 487 00:58:13,292 --> 00:58:14,625 And I want it to be you. 488 00:58:14,750 --> 00:58:17,167 All right. There are only two rules. One: 489 00:58:17,292 --> 00:58:22,292 Do not talk the plot of our novel to anyone outside this class. 490 00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:26,792 Two: I comprise 50% of the class, 491 00:58:26,917 --> 00:58:29,417 so we only write together... 492 00:58:30,875 --> 00:58:34,750 ...because we will publish or perish together. 493 00:58:41,167 --> 00:58:43,292 Nelson Algren said, 494 00:58:44,875 --> 00:58:46,417 "The job of the writer... 495 00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:50,542 ...is to pull the judge down onto the dock. 496 00:58:51,750 --> 00:58:54,542 To make the Almighty feel 497 00:58:54,667 --> 00:58:56,708 what it's like to be down low." 498 00:58:58,250 --> 00:58:59,375 He'll be all right. 499 00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:03,167 Grass never killed anybody. 500 00:59:04,292 --> 00:59:06,000 So, go. 501 00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:08,583 Right now. 502 00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:11,500 Write some bizarre sentences. 503 00:59:11,625 --> 00:59:13,750 Hey! Where are you? 504 00:59:15,042 --> 00:59:17,875 You can't take Quaaludes before the class. 505 00:59:18,583 --> 00:59:20,792 Now disappear into your imagination. 506 00:59:20,917 --> 00:59:23,500 Come on! Disappear into your imagination. 507 00:59:23,625 --> 00:59:25,708 Nobody's in the room but you and that pen. 508 00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:31,875 Better. 509 00:59:34,500 --> 00:59:35,833 Here you are. 510 00:59:35,958 --> 00:59:37,375 This is the shit. 511 00:59:42,750 --> 00:59:44,042 I wrote Demon Box in here. 512 00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:47,750 This room here is a creative room here. 513 00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:48,958 It's a creative space. 514 00:59:49,083 --> 00:59:52,625 Hey, Bennett. You didn't bring any ludes with you, did you? 515 00:59:52,750 --> 00:59:57,458 You know, those kind of drugs put you into your body, not into your mind. 516 00:59:58,250 --> 01:00:01,750 Stick with the acid, psilocybin, San Pedro... 517 01:00:02,458 --> 01:00:05,000 Something that'll disintegrate your ego 518 01:00:05,125 --> 01:00:07,125 so you can hear your inner voice. 519 01:00:08,375 --> 01:00:10,458 And you write from that voice. 520 01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:15,583 You want your voice to come through. 521 01:00:20,125 --> 01:00:21,250 Oh, Jesus. 522 01:00:24,542 --> 01:00:26,083 That's not supposed to happen. 523 01:00:27,292 --> 01:00:29,083 I got wrestler's knees. 524 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:32,000 All right! 525 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,208 Let's get outside before the sun sets. 526 01:00:35,750 --> 01:00:37,000 I want you... 527 01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:40,458 ...to meet someone. 528 01:00:43,500 --> 01:00:44,500 Come on! 529 01:00:44,875 --> 01:00:46,333 Fuck you, God! 530 01:00:48,250 --> 01:00:51,333 God got the commandments wrong. I think there's 11 commandments. 531 01:00:51,458 --> 01:00:54,083 And it should be the first commandment: Have mercy. 532 01:00:54,208 --> 01:00:56,500 - Hey. - Lord, have mercy! 533 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,458 Just think, if everybody had mercy for each other, 534 01:00:59,583 --> 01:01:00,833 where we'd be today. 535 01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:04,250 You see a man in the street who needs a few dollars, give it to him. 536 01:01:04,375 --> 01:01:06,250 Have mercy. He needs it. 537 01:01:07,625 --> 01:01:09,583 He wouldn't ask for it if he didn't need it. 538 01:01:11,375 --> 01:01:12,375 Mercy. 539 01:01:14,083 --> 01:01:17,833 Hire me to rewrite the... Bible. 540 01:01:40,083 --> 01:01:42,000 What are you, some kind of mermaid? 541 01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:52,375 Yep. 542 01:02:04,875 --> 01:02:06,958 You know, when Jed died, my boy... 543 01:02:08,375 --> 01:02:10,375 ...I wanted to cease to exist. 544 01:02:19,292 --> 01:02:23,000 And everybody that talked to me said something asinine. 545 01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:28,125 Or didn't say anything at all. 546 01:02:42,708 --> 01:02:45,000 Nobody understands death anymore. 547 01:02:49,750 --> 01:02:52,625 It used to be sacred. So sacred. 548 01:02:57,958 --> 01:02:58,958 Shit. 549 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,750 No one's big enough to hold what happens to us. 550 01:03:07,625 --> 01:03:12,250 No one is big enough to hold what happens to us. 551 01:03:18,500 --> 01:03:20,333 You got something to say? 552 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,458 It's in your hands. 553 01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:57,000 Everything about my father was in his hands. 554 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,333 It's all about coordination. 555 01:04:07,625 --> 01:04:12,000 A perfectly-balanced dance of shadow and light. 556 01:04:13,792 --> 01:04:17,083 Before my father was my father, 557 01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:18,583 he was an artist. 558 01:04:18,708 --> 01:04:22,000 Your daddy won a prize 559 01:04:22,500 --> 01:04:23,875 for this drawing. 560 01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:29,833 Before my father was an artist, 561 01:04:29,958 --> 01:04:31,458 he was an athlete. 562 01:04:33,417 --> 01:04:35,667 Before my father was my father... 563 01:04:38,292 --> 01:04:39,750 ...he was beautiful. 564 01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:42,125 And she was. 565 01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:44,875 Before my father was my father, 566 01:04:45,750 --> 01:04:47,333 he was a boy. 567 01:04:47,708 --> 01:04:49,000 Just a boy 568 01:04:49,708 --> 01:04:51,583 whose own mother... 569 01:04:51,958 --> 01:04:54,125 ...cut his tongue. 570 01:04:59,792 --> 01:05:01,833 Before I hated him... 571 01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:04,708 ...I loved him. 572 01:05:10,708 --> 01:05:14,333 Look up. If you don't look where you're going, you're gonna crash. 573 01:05:14,458 --> 01:05:17,792 When you get to the bottom of the hill, brake enough to make a turn. 574 01:05:17,917 --> 01:05:18,917 OK? 575 01:05:22,792 --> 01:05:25,625 Go. Keep your eyes on the road! 576 01:05:25,750 --> 01:05:26,917 Keep going. 577 01:05:27,625 --> 01:05:28,917 Keep your head up! 578 01:05:33,917 --> 01:05:36,500 Keep those eyes on the road! You gotta brake! 579 01:05:41,792 --> 01:05:42,875 Mike. 580 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,000 Mike. 581 01:05:44,667 --> 01:05:45,667 Mike! 582 01:05:45,792 --> 01:05:47,792 - Get a flashlight. - What for? 583 01:05:47,917 --> 01:05:50,042 - She's hurt down there. - What? 584 01:05:50,917 --> 01:05:53,292 - What happened? - Shut the goddamn door! 585 01:05:54,625 --> 01:05:56,625 - Yeah. - You done with that chapter? 586 01:06:22,375 --> 01:06:23,375 Hey. 587 01:06:24,917 --> 01:06:25,875 Hi. 588 01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,042 Hello. 589 01:06:32,292 --> 01:06:33,875 I'm a writer. 590 01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,000 Thank you. 591 01:06:50,542 --> 01:06:52,042 Thank you. 592 01:06:52,458 --> 01:06:56,667 We are gathered because, uh, we want to see the results. 593 01:06:56,792 --> 01:07:01,625 We want to witness the results of this experiment. 594 01:07:01,750 --> 01:07:06,083 A collaborative novel written by us. 595 01:07:07,083 --> 01:07:11,750 Please, let's welcome the first of the not-so-merry pranksters 596 01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:14,792 to the stage to present... 597 01:07:16,042 --> 01:07:17,042 ...Caverns. 598 01:07:18,042 --> 01:07:19,917 Lidia! Come on up! 599 01:07:23,250 --> 01:07:24,542 You're gonna kill it. 600 01:07:45,792 --> 01:07:46,917 Hello. 601 01:07:47,292 --> 01:07:49,750 - My thigh, behind my knee... - There you go. 602 01:07:49,875 --> 01:07:52,083 - You too? - My asscrack. 603 01:07:52,208 --> 01:07:54,042 Back of my knees, and they're just like... 604 01:07:54,167 --> 01:07:55,417 Lidia's father. 605 01:07:56,500 --> 01:07:59,417 What can I say? I'm a great admirer of yours. 606 01:07:59,542 --> 01:08:02,625 - Mike. Is that right? - That's right. 607 01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:05,375 Glad you could make it. 608 01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:08,375 Lidia and I, we saw Cuckoo's Nest 609 01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,542 and Sometimes a Great Notion together, 610 01:08:10,667 --> 01:08:12,042 and it's just great. 611 01:08:12,167 --> 01:08:14,000 I mean, great books. 612 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:18,250 You know, Mike... 613 01:08:19,625 --> 01:08:20,792 ...Lidia here... 614 01:08:22,542 --> 01:08:24,875 ...she can knock it out of the park. 615 01:08:29,042 --> 01:08:31,042 Do you want me to sign that? 616 01:08:35,250 --> 01:08:36,542 Thanks for coming, Dad. 617 01:08:42,125 --> 01:08:44,000 OK. 618 01:08:44,125 --> 01:08:46,625 To... Mike? 619 01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:48,750 Please. 620 01:08:50,542 --> 01:08:51,750 "To Mike. 621 01:08:52,667 --> 01:08:53,667 Be... 622 01:08:55,917 --> 01:08:56,792 ...brave." 623 01:09:06,792 --> 01:09:08,042 There you go, Mike. 624 01:09:12,542 --> 01:09:15,500 - There you go, baby. - Yep. 625 01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:38,708 I've seen a lot of writers come and go. 626 01:09:42,833 --> 01:09:44,375 You got the stuff. 627 01:09:50,833 --> 01:09:53,458 Got something for you. Here. 628 01:09:55,750 --> 01:09:56,750 Here. 629 01:09:59,750 --> 01:10:02,875 It comes from the most spiritual beach on Earth. 630 01:10:04,417 --> 01:10:05,750 Hold that. 631 01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:09,458 You can hold it all. 632 01:10:12,625 --> 01:10:14,375 You're gonna hold it all, girl. 633 01:10:21,333 --> 01:10:22,333 So... 634 01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:25,250 So, what's next? 635 01:10:28,458 --> 01:10:31,750 - Next? - Next. What is next? Next. 636 01:10:40,458 --> 01:10:42,500 I want to write The Sound and the Fury. 637 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,583 Of course you do, honey. 638 01:10:57,375 --> 01:10:58,708 Oh, boy. 639 01:11:03,875 --> 01:11:05,833 Here. Throw it and see if I can catch it. 640 01:11:05,958 --> 01:11:07,292 - Ready? - Yeah. 641 01:11:08,375 --> 01:11:09,958 Ah, shit! 642 01:11:11,625 --> 01:11:12,750 Ah. 643 01:11:14,125 --> 01:11:15,875 A lot riding on that going in. 644 01:11:19,875 --> 01:11:22,458 It has no metaphor. 645 01:11:22,583 --> 01:11:25,250 - OK. - Fuck metaphors. 646 01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,458 - OK. - It's just a rock that fell. 647 01:11:37,750 --> 01:11:40,000 I'm gonna get the rock and I'm gonna go pee. 648 01:11:40,125 --> 01:11:41,333 All right. 649 01:11:41,458 --> 01:11:44,125 Oh, yeah! There we go! You got it! 650 01:11:47,875 --> 01:11:50,000 That was the last time I saw him. 651 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,125 You can write, girl! 652 01:11:53,250 --> 01:11:56,125 I'm of the opinion that he drowned. 653 01:12:03,083 --> 01:12:06,875 Caddy wants to fuck. She's insatiable. 654 01:12:07,500 --> 01:12:11,417 And because her neighbour boy man has a giant pants bulge 655 01:12:11,542 --> 01:12:14,042 and a sound that comes out of him instead of language, 656 01:12:14,167 --> 01:12:17,125 she goes over to his house and she removes all of her clothes, 657 01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:19,500 so he finally fucks her. 658 01:12:20,333 --> 01:12:22,208 And crushes her. 659 01:12:24,375 --> 01:12:28,375 He fucks her to death, and she loves it! 660 01:12:28,958 --> 01:12:32,125 And she laughs until she cries, and an ambulance has to come. 661 01:12:32,250 --> 01:12:33,708 But it's too late. 662 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:36,958 That is The Sound and the Fury. 663 01:12:38,375 --> 01:12:39,375 Trite. 664 01:12:40,958 --> 01:12:43,500 Look, I've already read The Sound and the Fury. 665 01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:46,375 Reworking Faulkner is some college shit. 666 01:12:51,458 --> 01:12:53,125 Maybe try something original. 667 01:12:56,250 --> 01:12:58,750 God, I hate them. 668 01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:02,583 Hey. What the hell does he know? 669 01:13:03,333 --> 01:13:06,875 It is original. It's a fucking pastiche. 670 01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:10,250 - Hey! - Ha! Hey. 671 01:13:10,750 --> 01:13:13,000 You want to go to the coast? I got us a room. 672 01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:16,250 - Hi, Hannah. - We're gonna work on these this weekend. 673 01:13:16,375 --> 01:13:18,625 - Right. - Come on. Your fly's undone. 674 01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:20,833 Lids. 675 01:13:22,292 --> 01:13:23,583 What is that? 676 01:13:23,708 --> 01:13:24,708 Oh! 677 01:13:28,250 --> 01:13:29,708 I fucking dare you. 678 01:13:29,833 --> 01:13:32,125 Anything. Anytime. Anything. Anytime. 679 01:13:32,250 --> 01:13:33,208 Come on. 680 01:13:33,333 --> 01:13:34,250 Anything. Anytime. 681 01:13:34,375 --> 01:13:35,625 Anything. 682 01:13:35,750 --> 01:13:37,625 Anytime. 683 01:13:37,750 --> 01:13:38,708 Whoa! 684 01:13:38,833 --> 01:13:40,750 Anywhere. Anything. Anytime. 685 01:13:40,875 --> 01:13:44,375 - Please be careful. - To feel absolutely... nothing. 686 01:13:49,458 --> 01:13:52,708 I'm gonna go grab some firewood. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 687 01:14:15,875 --> 01:14:17,208 Is this like a...? 688 01:14:19,125 --> 01:14:20,833 A fuck trip? 689 01:14:25,625 --> 01:14:26,667 What? 690 01:14:29,083 --> 01:14:31,500 I've never... I've never licked pussy. 691 01:14:33,042 --> 01:14:34,000 Oh! 692 01:15:40,792 --> 01:15:42,625 I wanted to stay like that. 693 01:15:52,208 --> 01:15:54,208 Outside of any word. 694 01:16:00,083 --> 01:16:02,583 Inside the unnamed wet. 695 01:16:30,375 --> 01:16:31,625 You OK? 696 01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:19,875 I love you, Lids. 697 01:17:30,833 --> 01:17:32,375 I really love you. 698 01:17:53,458 --> 01:17:54,542 Yeah. 699 01:17:55,083 --> 01:17:56,292 I'll see you later. 700 01:18:10,667 --> 01:18:11,833 In water... 701 01:18:13,208 --> 01:18:14,583 ...like in books... 702 01:18:17,708 --> 01:18:19,292 ...you can leave your life. 703 01:18:42,750 --> 01:18:44,667 - I got it. I got it. - No! 704 01:18:44,792 --> 01:18:47,125 I remember a happy childhood. 705 01:18:47,250 --> 01:18:48,750 - Ah! - Come on, come on. 706 01:18:48,875 --> 01:18:51,083 We dive, we swim, we race. We... 707 01:18:51,208 --> 01:18:52,917 Ooh, Lidia went fast that time. 708 01:18:53,042 --> 01:18:55,500 We laugh like other people's children. 709 01:19:04,917 --> 01:19:06,917 I remember first and last names 710 01:19:07,042 --> 01:19:10,458 like Evie Kosenkranius and Lynn Collella Belle. 711 01:19:10,583 --> 01:19:12,208 Lynn Collella Belle. 712 01:19:12,333 --> 01:19:14,500 Lynn Collella Belle. 713 01:19:17,375 --> 01:19:19,625 Making song loops in my skull. 714 01:19:19,750 --> 01:19:23,292 ♪ Lynn Collella Lynn Collella Belle, Belle ♪ 715 01:19:44,708 --> 01:19:45,750 Mono? 716 01:19:47,042 --> 01:19:48,625 Isn't that the kissing disease? 717 01:19:52,375 --> 01:19:54,708 No. Don't be silly. 718 01:19:57,875 --> 01:20:00,250 Everything's gonna be OK, Belle. You'll see. 719 01:20:00,375 --> 01:20:01,750 You're gonna feel better. 720 01:20:04,708 --> 01:20:07,875 And your daddy's gonna take real good care of you. 721 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:11,750 - Aren't ya? - We'll be all right. 722 01:20:11,875 --> 01:20:14,042 OK. Mama's gonna go sell some houses. 723 01:20:17,125 --> 01:20:18,333 Hey, honey. 724 01:20:24,250 --> 01:20:25,208 My baby girl. 725 01:20:26,708 --> 01:20:28,625 You just give it a couple of days. 726 01:20:32,375 --> 01:20:33,750 Shh. 727 01:20:35,125 --> 01:20:37,500 It is language letting me say... 728 01:20:37,625 --> 01:20:40,750 - There you go. - ...how four weeks can be years. 729 01:20:43,625 --> 01:20:46,208 It is the yielding expanse 730 01:20:46,333 --> 01:20:48,833 of a white page. 731 01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:29,125 Have you shown these to anyone? 732 01:21:32,125 --> 01:21:33,125 No. 733 01:21:41,333 --> 01:21:43,708 Skin. Scars. 734 01:21:46,750 --> 01:21:50,750 People always ask me why my work is so dark. 735 01:21:53,208 --> 01:21:56,000 What do you know about pain, Lidia? 736 01:21:57,208 --> 01:21:58,458 Um... 737 01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:02,750 I know that... 738 01:22:04,833 --> 01:22:06,667 ...it matters to me. 739 01:22:09,125 --> 01:22:11,000 I'm gonna take care of you. 740 01:22:15,583 --> 01:22:16,625 Do you understand? 741 01:22:22,625 --> 01:22:24,750 Now ask me for what you want. 742 01:22:29,250 --> 01:22:30,625 Um... 743 01:22:32,500 --> 01:22:34,250 That's not right, angel. 744 01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:35,750 Um... 745 01:22:37,250 --> 01:22:38,000 Um... 746 01:22:39,750 --> 01:22:40,750 I... 747 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:45,125 ...want you to... 748 01:22:46,750 --> 01:22:47,750 Hm? 749 01:22:49,208 --> 01:22:51,125 Knock it out of me. 750 01:22:57,292 --> 01:22:58,875 To whip me. 751 01:23:00,250 --> 01:23:04,083 Where would you like to be whipped... angel? 752 01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:09,458 Everywhere. 753 01:23:15,375 --> 01:23:17,208 Take it somewhere. 754 01:23:20,458 --> 01:23:22,292 Take the pain somewhere. 755 01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,333 Mama. 756 01:23:32,542 --> 01:23:35,583 Yeah. 757 01:23:40,625 --> 01:23:42,500 I am proud of you. 758 01:23:54,083 --> 01:23:55,917 I'm not trying to creep you out. 759 01:24:04,292 --> 01:24:06,250 I'm trying to be precise. 760 01:24:15,792 --> 01:24:17,083 "...my mother was whining, 761 01:24:17,208 --> 01:24:18,500 Daddy was smelling my cunt. 762 01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:20,750 'I've reached my best moment now', he explained. 763 01:24:20,875 --> 01:24:24,000 Now I was sure what he was referring to. 'This is the moment of truth. 764 01:24:24,125 --> 01:24:26,167 I'm going off, off, off, jacking it off. 765 01:24:26,292 --> 01:24:29,417 My hands are gonna be broken. I don't even recognise my own body. 766 01:24:29,542 --> 01:24:31,125 It doesn't matter. I know you're mine. 767 01:24:31,250 --> 01:24:34,042 I made you, I'm making you. I swore I'd live for pleasure. 768 01:24:34,167 --> 01:24:37,292 My tongue is fucking enormous. Feel it. It's reaching down to my waist. 769 01:24:37,417 --> 01:24:40,167 You're seeing your actual father in his moment of truth. 770 01:24:40,292 --> 01:24:43,958 God Almighty, nothing matters. You're my God, my daughter, I worship you. 771 01:24:44,083 --> 01:24:45,708 I beg you to do it, show I can please you. 772 01:24:45,833 --> 01:24:48,292 Now look at it. It's big in my corkscrewing hand. 773 01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:49,375 Kiss it.' 774 01:24:49,500 --> 01:24:51,792 My father explained again, 'I am fucking God. 775 01:24:51,917 --> 01:24:54,917 And I made God. Holy shit. All I have to do is look at God, 776 01:24:55,042 --> 01:24:56,917 and God is happy cos I've made God cum. 777 01:24:57,042 --> 01:24:58,875 God is in heaven. I'm in heaven and I've died. 778 01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:01,542 The whole world in heaven. I'm cumming all over your face.' 779 01:25:01,667 --> 01:25:04,292 - I licked up his sperm." - This is making me sick. 780 01:25:23,917 --> 01:25:26,125 Who in the hell do you think you are? 781 01:25:28,167 --> 01:25:29,792 My father's daughter. 782 01:26:11,542 --> 01:26:12,750 Goddammit. 783 01:26:13,917 --> 01:26:14,792 Year one. 784 01:26:14,917 --> 01:26:16,292 Vodka! 785 01:26:18,917 --> 01:26:21,500 I drink vodka, mostly all the time. 786 01:26:21,917 --> 01:26:24,375 One shot in the eye, shot in the eye. 787 01:26:24,500 --> 01:26:26,042 I felt nothing about myself. 788 01:26:29,792 --> 01:26:31,875 - We drink, we laugh, we... - Fuck. 789 01:26:32,667 --> 01:26:34,583 We make fuck-body paint shadows. 790 01:26:36,375 --> 01:26:39,042 We make performance art. We perform ourselves. 791 01:26:39,167 --> 01:26:40,625 Fuck you, God! 792 01:26:48,917 --> 01:26:50,542 Open the door! 793 01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:54,542 We carved each other's names into our arms. 794 01:26:54,667 --> 01:26:56,458 I did it for you! 795 01:26:58,875 --> 01:26:59,875 Fuck! 796 01:27:04,792 --> 01:27:05,958 We fuck septic. 797 01:27:06,083 --> 01:27:09,000 It was right in front of me. I could see what was happening. 798 01:27:09,125 --> 01:27:11,417 - You don't even realise. - Realise what? 799 01:27:11,542 --> 01:27:13,417 Realise I'm gonna fucking marry you. 800 01:27:13,542 --> 01:27:14,542 Whoa! Oh! 801 01:27:17,875 --> 01:27:19,375 To Mike and Dorothy! 802 01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:22,250 I'm so happy they fucked. 803 01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:27,750 To skip to year six. 804 01:27:27,875 --> 01:27:30,792 - Hey! - When underwater stories start itching. 805 01:27:30,917 --> 01:27:33,542 And yelling begins a rhythm where drinking gets louder... 806 01:27:33,667 --> 01:27:37,042 Go back to kissing women I know and kissing women I don't know! 807 01:27:37,167 --> 01:27:39,375 And what is a couple over time but a line? 808 01:27:39,500 --> 01:27:40,750 I'll show you a fucking line. 809 01:27:40,875 --> 01:27:43,250 Your fucking bullshit is taking over the house! 810 01:27:43,375 --> 01:27:45,250 It was taking over the house. 811 01:27:50,292 --> 01:27:52,042 Oh, no. 812 01:27:53,542 --> 01:27:54,542 Oh, no. 813 01:27:56,292 --> 01:27:57,292 Oh, no. 814 01:28:06,667 --> 01:28:07,667 Fuck. 815 01:28:13,042 --> 01:28:14,750 I don't wanna fuck. 816 01:28:16,292 --> 01:28:18,167 I want to read. 817 01:28:20,167 --> 01:28:21,292 Fuck you. 818 01:28:27,000 --> 01:28:28,750 I didn't want to drink. 819 01:28:31,167 --> 01:28:32,375 I wanted to write. 820 01:28:41,667 --> 01:28:43,875 What is a couple over time but a line? 821 01:28:48,625 --> 01:28:50,875 Year seven, I finish my dissertation. 822 01:28:57,417 --> 01:28:58,875 Year eight, I get a PhD. 823 01:29:15,875 --> 01:29:16,875 Year ten. 824 01:29:18,167 --> 01:29:19,417 We pretend. 825 01:29:23,875 --> 01:29:25,167 You said that... 826 01:29:28,625 --> 01:29:30,875 ...you would love me until I die. 827 01:29:35,292 --> 01:29:38,250 You said we would die together in love. 828 01:29:52,125 --> 01:29:53,875 You said that to me. 829 01:29:58,125 --> 01:29:59,458 Where are you? 830 01:30:06,250 --> 01:30:07,750 Where is the man? 831 01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:26,125 Who would love a woman like me? 832 01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:11,417 Don't you dare. 833 01:31:49,250 --> 01:31:50,250 Ha. 834 01:33:13,125 --> 01:33:15,375 "The date of your reading." 835 01:33:38,500 --> 01:33:39,542 What? 836 01:34:03,500 --> 01:34:05,125 Please welcome... 837 01:34:10,375 --> 01:34:13,167 ...reading an excerpt from her first collection 838 01:34:13,292 --> 01:34:15,083 of short stories, Her Other Mouths, 839 01:34:15,208 --> 01:34:16,750 Lidia Yuknavitch. 840 01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:22,083 Lidia, please. Welcome. 841 01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:39,208 "The day my daughter was born. 842 01:34:41,375 --> 01:34:43,125 After I held the future. 843 01:34:47,458 --> 01:34:48,750 Stillborn. 844 01:34:52,250 --> 01:34:53,333 And pink. 845 01:34:58,500 --> 01:35:00,000 And rose-lipped. 846 01:35:02,750 --> 01:35:05,625 And rose-lipped in my shivering arms. 847 01:35:06,500 --> 01:35:10,250 Little tragedies are difficult to keep straight." 848 01:35:15,250 --> 01:35:18,833 "Chronology convinces us we are moving toward a real place. 849 01:35:18,958 --> 01:35:21,250 'Swimmers, to your marks. "' 850 01:35:22,500 --> 01:35:23,708 "A gunshot. 851 01:35:24,375 --> 01:35:26,750 A gunshot released our tense flesh. 852 01:35:28,250 --> 01:35:30,625 Fathers were often uncontainable 853 01:35:30,750 --> 01:35:33,208 while the little women swam for their lives. 854 01:35:33,333 --> 01:35:34,458 Swim. 855 01:35:35,625 --> 01:35:37,708 'Swim!"' 856 01:35:37,833 --> 01:35:39,292 "'Hurry!"' 857 01:35:39,417 --> 01:35:42,125 "'Come on, baby. 858 01:35:43,250 --> 01:35:44,583 Harder."' 859 01:35:44,708 --> 01:35:47,833 ' "Harder! Faster!'" 860 01:35:47,958 --> 01:35:51,458 "A cacophony of men swelling 861 01:35:51,583 --> 01:35:54,833 and pressing down on the wet motion." 862 01:35:56,833 --> 01:36:00,708 "How many times did I slip into the chlorinated depths, 863 01:36:01,583 --> 01:36:06,250 secretly hoping to shed this useless skin 864 01:36:06,375 --> 01:36:08,583 and emerge something..." 865 01:36:13,375 --> 01:36:14,708 "...amphibious... 866 01:36:16,875 --> 01:36:18,583 ...and without gender? 867 01:36:26,875 --> 01:36:28,125 The thing is... 868 01:36:32,250 --> 01:36:35,750 ...this letting everything in... 869 01:36:37,208 --> 01:36:40,083 ...and waiting to see what comes out... 870 01:36:43,250 --> 01:36:44,583 ...is creepy... 871 01:36:46,125 --> 01:36:47,500 ...and idiotic. 872 01:36:49,375 --> 01:36:52,958 And it's starting to piss me off 873 01:36:53,083 --> 01:36:56,833 that I have to even think about that hole." 874 01:36:58,250 --> 01:36:59,500 "What I am saying is... 875 01:37:04,208 --> 01:37:08,750 ...there is a woman in a room who is tired of looking down... 876 01:37:11,625 --> 01:37:13,000 ...and bleeding... 877 01:37:14,208 --> 01:37:16,875 ...and bearing and itching 878 01:37:17,500 --> 01:37:18,958 and aching... 879 01:37:20,250 --> 01:37:23,458 ...and tired of remaining open 880 01:37:24,333 --> 01:37:27,875 with no hope of suturing herself up. 881 01:37:38,458 --> 01:37:40,625 It isn't that I want it gone. 882 01:37:44,333 --> 01:37:45,500 It's that... 883 01:37:46,500 --> 01:37:49,375 ...I want wanting... 884 01:37:51,375 --> 01:37:54,750 ...to come from somewhere else." 885 01:38:00,500 --> 01:38:05,083 "There are moments between years that surface with great force." 886 01:38:06,708 --> 01:38:08,333 Remind me why we're here. 887 01:38:08,458 --> 01:38:10,583 I thought this was your idea. 888 01:38:10,708 --> 01:38:11,583 I came here with you. 889 01:38:16,708 --> 01:38:17,708 Delusion. 890 01:38:20,500 --> 01:38:22,250 Grown women are idiots. 891 01:38:24,000 --> 01:38:25,208 I don't know. 892 01:38:26,250 --> 01:38:27,625 She begged. 893 01:38:33,750 --> 01:38:35,375 I changed my name. 894 01:38:41,417 --> 01:38:42,708 Mike! 895 01:38:43,875 --> 01:38:46,375 Lidia! Lidia! 896 01:38:47,125 --> 01:38:49,458 Lidia! Lidia! 897 01:38:49,583 --> 01:38:51,625 Mike! Lidia! 898 01:38:51,750 --> 01:38:54,500 - Lidia! - Turn him over! 899 01:38:54,625 --> 01:38:55,625 Help me! 900 01:39:15,125 --> 01:39:16,125 "Kill. 901 01:39:17,875 --> 01:39:20,208 Or suck the killing back. 902 01:39:24,750 --> 01:39:26,250 And pump it... 903 01:39:27,375 --> 01:39:30,583 ...into the story of someone else." 904 01:39:33,750 --> 01:39:37,875 "My father lost his memory from hypoxia that day." 905 01:39:42,625 --> 01:39:44,750 "I did not kill him. 906 01:39:46,500 --> 01:39:47,875 I did not save him. 907 01:39:49,750 --> 01:39:53,083 I am learning to live on land." 908 01:39:56,792 --> 01:39:57,792 Um... 909 01:40:02,333 --> 01:40:04,083 Thanks. Oh, that's... That's... 910 01:40:19,458 --> 01:40:22,542 - Have your parents read this story? - Mm-hm. 911 01:40:22,667 --> 01:40:25,125 Enjoy New York. You're gonna get an agent. 912 01:40:29,250 --> 01:40:32,333 Lidia, it's so nice to meet you. Thank you for being here. 913 01:40:32,458 --> 01:40:33,875 Excuse me. 914 01:40:34,792 --> 01:40:36,708 Do you have anything, um... 915 01:40:37,708 --> 01:40:39,917 ...a little stronger? 916 01:40:40,375 --> 01:40:41,292 Thanks. 917 01:40:46,708 --> 01:40:48,708 Carol Houck Smith, Norton Publishing. 918 01:40:50,917 --> 01:40:52,583 It's pretty impressive what you did up there. 919 01:40:54,417 --> 01:40:55,417 Thank you. 920 01:40:55,958 --> 01:40:57,708 No, really. 921 01:40:58,708 --> 01:41:00,083 It didn't look easy. 922 01:41:01,167 --> 01:41:04,167 Tell me, is there any more where that came from? 923 01:41:04,292 --> 01:41:06,292 Something a little longer? 924 01:41:10,417 --> 01:41:12,083 You should send me something. 925 01:41:16,958 --> 01:41:18,458 It's just that... 926 01:41:21,542 --> 01:41:25,708 ...something in me had been born... 927 01:41:27,000 --> 01:41:27,958 ...still. 928 01:41:35,458 --> 01:41:38,792 ♪ And there you got me That's how you got me 929 01:41:38,917 --> 01:41:41,542 ♪ You taught me to be mean 930 01:41:45,708 --> 01:41:48,208 ♪ But I ran 931 01:41:48,333 --> 01:41:50,542 ♪ Out of 932 01:41:50,667 --> 01:41:53,083 ♪ White doves' 933 01:41:53,208 --> 01:41:54,917 ♪ Feathers 934 01:41:55,042 --> 01:41:57,750 ♪ To soak up the hot piss 935 01:41:57,875 --> 01:42:00,083 ♪ That comes from your mouth... ♪ 936 01:42:00,208 --> 01:42:02,458 It's a small stone I carry. 937 01:42:06,583 --> 01:42:09,042 The shame of wanting something good. 938 01:42:10,208 --> 01:42:14,458 ♪ White doves' feathers... ♪ 939 01:42:57,500 --> 01:42:59,583 I hate my life! 940 01:45:08,458 --> 01:45:10,458 Fucking trash. 941 01:45:12,375 --> 01:45:14,458 Hey, what are you doing? Keep it moving. 942 01:45:33,917 --> 01:45:34,917 Hi. 943 01:45:38,833 --> 01:45:40,042 Chopping block. 944 01:45:40,542 --> 01:45:41,667 Peer review. 945 01:45:42,208 --> 01:45:43,958 Who wants to go first? 946 01:45:45,542 --> 01:45:46,958 Really helpful. 947 01:45:47,083 --> 01:45:49,417 You know, you can't live the wrong life. 948 01:45:49,542 --> 01:45:51,333 You really can't. It's a story you were told. 949 01:45:51,458 --> 01:45:53,917 Your one is just as important, it's your own. 950 01:45:54,042 --> 01:45:56,167 It has to hurt. But I'm excited for you. 951 01:46:48,167 --> 01:46:49,833 I don't give a shit! 952 01:46:49,958 --> 01:46:50,833 Now what? 953 01:46:53,333 --> 01:46:56,833 Something small and specific caught my eye. 954 01:46:56,958 --> 01:47:01,083 An important detail. A bruise on the bridge of her nose 955 01:47:01,208 --> 01:47:03,458 letting me know her eyes were blue, like mine. 956 01:47:03,583 --> 01:47:04,583 Hey! 957 01:47:06,833 --> 01:47:08,125 How much? 958 01:47:10,667 --> 01:47:14,083 I pay her pimp $100. I ask her in. 959 01:47:14,917 --> 01:47:16,167 I tell her to sit down. 960 01:47:20,167 --> 01:47:22,167 In the story, I say... 961 01:47:22,292 --> 01:47:24,583 This is what it feels like to be me. 962 01:47:25,625 --> 01:47:27,958 A woman who teaches English, 963 01:47:28,458 --> 01:47:31,458 looking down at a woman who sucks dicks all day 964 01:47:31,583 --> 01:47:35,083 as she sits on my couch, smoking. 965 01:47:37,042 --> 01:47:40,792 When I look at her, I think she looks like Mary. 966 01:47:42,333 --> 01:47:44,792 Whenever I see an image of Christ, 967 01:47:45,458 --> 01:47:47,958 I picture Mary so drawn and gaunt and tired 968 01:47:48,083 --> 01:47:49,833 and angry to the point of emaciation 969 01:47:49,958 --> 01:47:52,042 that she can barely wear her own face. 970 01:48:02,792 --> 01:48:05,333 In the story, I say... 971 01:48:07,708 --> 01:48:09,208 "What am I gonna do? 972 01:48:10,292 --> 01:48:11,333 Teach her?" 973 01:48:14,208 --> 01:48:17,958 This is what me, an addict, upwardly mobile, 974 01:48:18,542 --> 01:48:21,042 given something as infinitesimally small 975 01:48:21,167 --> 01:48:23,458 as words to believe in, thinks. 976 01:48:24,208 --> 01:48:25,583 I'm looking at her. 977 01:48:30,708 --> 01:48:32,167 Offer words. 978 01:48:45,958 --> 01:48:47,625 People say to me all the time... 979 01:48:49,208 --> 01:48:52,958 "Did the things in your short stories actually happen?" 980 01:48:56,083 --> 01:48:57,542 Isn't that the... 981 01:48:58,542 --> 01:48:59,917 ...the question... 982 01:49:00,958 --> 01:49:02,542 ...when it comes to life? 983 01:49:06,667 --> 01:49:07,917 Like... 984 01:49:08,375 --> 01:49:10,333 Did this really happen to me? 985 01:49:19,083 --> 01:49:20,167 Andy. 986 01:49:22,042 --> 01:49:23,042 I don't know. 987 01:49:31,083 --> 01:49:33,792 The things that happen to us are true. 988 01:49:36,583 --> 01:49:40,458 But writing is a whole other body. 989 01:49:41,667 --> 01:49:44,417 I was hoping we could discuss my manuscript. 990 01:49:45,583 --> 01:49:48,167 Oh. Of course. Yeah. 991 01:49:50,958 --> 01:49:52,792 I also want to loan you my car. 992 01:49:56,792 --> 01:49:58,958 Saw you were taking the bus, and... 993 01:49:59,958 --> 01:50:01,708 ...I happen to have two cars. 994 01:50:15,750 --> 01:50:16,708 Hey. 995 01:50:40,042 --> 01:50:43,292 You can tell a lot about a person from seeing them in the water. 996 01:50:45,042 --> 01:50:46,250 Thank you. 997 01:50:49,542 --> 01:50:52,792 - For what? - For letting me swim with you. 998 01:50:52,917 --> 01:50:56,375 I read a couple of your stories. I know that swimming's a big deal. 999 01:50:57,875 --> 01:50:59,708 I always let my students choose the venue. 1000 01:51:01,042 --> 01:51:04,250 I wanted to say I've seen you a couple of times before. 1001 01:51:04,833 --> 01:51:07,500 I read about Ken Kesey teaching at U of O when I was abroad, 1002 01:51:07,625 --> 01:51:10,792 and I applied to the programme, but it already happened. 1003 01:51:11,792 --> 01:51:13,250 No shit. That's funny. 1004 01:51:13,375 --> 01:51:15,292 Yeah, I know. 1005 01:51:15,417 --> 01:51:18,625 Then I'd seen you stomping around the creative writing department. 1006 01:51:20,375 --> 01:51:22,500 I was in the reading you gave at Gerlinger. 1007 01:51:25,625 --> 01:51:26,750 Wow. That's... 1008 01:51:29,625 --> 01:51:32,250 That's weird. Weird. 1009 01:51:36,125 --> 01:51:37,917 That was a weird day for me. 1010 01:51:40,542 --> 01:51:41,542 Why? 1011 01:51:50,417 --> 01:51:51,625 My father... 1012 01:51:54,417 --> 01:51:55,875 ...was... My f... 1013 01:51:56,792 --> 01:51:57,917 My father... 1014 01:52:01,417 --> 01:52:02,417 Your father? 1015 01:52:05,250 --> 01:52:06,667 ...was abusive. 1016 01:52:09,667 --> 01:52:10,667 Your father. 1017 01:52:13,583 --> 01:52:14,750 How so? 1018 01:52:17,292 --> 01:52:18,292 Sexual. 1019 01:52:19,250 --> 01:52:20,250 Oh. 1020 01:52:22,042 --> 01:52:23,167 That sucks. 1021 01:52:32,750 --> 01:52:35,542 I hope something karmically fucked happened to him. 1022 01:52:36,917 --> 01:52:37,917 Yeah. 1023 01:52:41,417 --> 01:52:43,292 It kind of actually did. 1024 01:52:44,792 --> 01:52:46,208 Excellent, then. 1025 01:52:54,542 --> 01:52:58,167 Blah. It was a long time ago. I was a totally different person then. 1026 01:52:59,750 --> 01:53:01,167 So, who are you now? 1027 01:53:03,667 --> 01:53:04,875 I'm your teacher. 1028 01:53:11,792 --> 01:53:13,750 So, Teach, are you gonna take my car? 1029 01:53:38,167 --> 01:53:41,417 I don't quite know how to tell you what it feels like... 1030 01:53:44,542 --> 01:53:47,500 ...watching the little woman swim for her life. 1031 01:53:50,250 --> 01:53:51,667 I mean... 1032 01:54:13,917 --> 01:54:15,708 Are you fucking insane? 1033 01:54:23,167 --> 01:54:24,458 No. 1034 01:54:33,792 --> 01:54:36,000 You think I'm someone else. 1035 01:54:37,208 --> 01:54:38,125 Mm-mm. 1036 01:54:43,750 --> 01:54:45,375 I can see the mother in you. 1037 01:54:55,250 --> 01:54:57,542 There's more to your story than you think. 1038 01:55:28,042 --> 01:55:29,042 Yeah! 1039 01:56:31,500 --> 01:56:32,875 Mm-hm. 1040 01:56:33,542 --> 01:56:34,750 Mm-hm. 1041 01:56:37,500 --> 01:56:38,583 Oh! 1042 01:56:52,917 --> 01:56:56,167 - Oh, it's very nice. - This is it. 1043 01:56:56,292 --> 01:56:57,542 Very nice. 1044 01:56:58,250 --> 01:57:00,750 We're gonna go this way, sir, on the left. 1045 01:57:00,875 --> 01:57:02,000 Oh, yeah. 1046 01:57:22,542 --> 01:57:24,167 What about the room? 1047 01:57:24,875 --> 01:57:27,292 They said it would be ready tomorrow for sure. 1048 01:57:27,417 --> 01:57:28,417 OK. 1049 01:57:31,917 --> 01:57:34,792 That must have been a very weird ride. 1050 01:57:40,292 --> 01:57:41,667 Thank you. 1051 01:57:41,792 --> 01:57:44,292 You don't ever have to say thank you to me. 1052 01:57:51,625 --> 01:57:54,542 - I'm good. - Yeah? 1053 01:57:55,542 --> 01:57:56,542 Yeah. 1054 01:58:10,750 --> 01:58:12,917 - Hi, Dad. - Marilou? 1055 01:58:14,000 --> 01:58:15,583 No. It's me. It's Lidia. 1056 01:58:16,625 --> 01:58:17,667 I know that, kiddo. 1057 01:58:20,792 --> 01:58:21,875 Huh... 1058 01:58:22,000 --> 01:58:23,000 Oh! 1059 01:58:29,417 --> 01:58:30,625 I read that book. 1060 01:58:31,667 --> 01:58:33,167 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 1061 01:58:35,042 --> 01:58:36,417 Do you know who wrote it? 1062 01:58:37,167 --> 01:58:38,167 Um... 1063 01:58:41,458 --> 01:58:42,375 You. 1064 01:58:43,250 --> 01:58:44,250 That's right. 1065 01:58:48,042 --> 01:58:50,792 - Did you read all of the stories? - I, uh... 1066 01:58:52,750 --> 01:58:54,500 There was one about swimming. 1067 01:58:57,375 --> 01:58:58,458 I liked that. 1068 01:59:00,500 --> 01:59:01,500 Thank you. 1069 01:59:03,750 --> 01:59:05,875 Not very flattering of me, though. 1070 01:59:09,000 --> 01:59:10,417 That's fair enough. 1071 01:59:10,792 --> 01:59:11,792 Huh... 1072 01:59:19,667 --> 01:59:23,250 You know, I won a prize for that story. 1073 01:59:24,667 --> 01:59:26,292 I got to go to New York. 1074 01:59:32,750 --> 01:59:33,833 Huh. 1075 01:59:36,125 --> 01:59:38,125 Well, isn't that something, huh? 1076 01:59:42,792 --> 01:59:44,042 It's beautiful here. 1077 01:59:45,750 --> 01:59:46,750 It's a... 1078 01:59:47,542 --> 01:59:49,750 It's a real home you have here. 1079 01:59:54,750 --> 01:59:55,750 Well done. 1080 01:59:57,417 --> 01:59:58,625 Well done, you. 1081 02:00:00,417 --> 02:00:02,750 The safest memories are locked away in the brains 1082 02:00:02,875 --> 02:00:04,500 of people who can't remember. 1083 02:00:04,625 --> 02:00:07,042 Oh! Oh! Get her, Mike! Get her, Mike! 1084 02:00:08,375 --> 02:00:10,583 You know I don't swim! Claudia, go get your sister! 1085 02:00:12,792 --> 02:00:14,958 Underwater forever. 1086 02:00:17,208 --> 02:00:18,625 There you go, pal. 1087 02:00:20,250 --> 02:00:22,125 Look, I'm doing 'wimming. 1088 02:00:22,750 --> 02:00:25,875 Wow! 1089 02:00:34,500 --> 02:00:35,917 What's wrong? 1090 02:00:36,042 --> 02:00:39,250 The water will go in my nose and ears 1091 02:00:39,375 --> 02:00:41,000 and into my brain. 1092 02:00:42,875 --> 02:00:44,500 Uh, Miles? 1093 02:00:47,333 --> 02:00:50,250 How many times have you seen 1094 02:00:50,375 --> 02:00:53,167 Mama swimming and swimming laps? 1095 02:00:54,833 --> 02:00:56,917 Lots of times, right? 1096 02:00:57,042 --> 02:01:00,375 - Yeah. - Have you ever noticed 1097 02:01:00,500 --> 02:01:03,875 that I've never got water in my brain? 1098 02:01:06,875 --> 02:01:08,875 Water's never gone into my brain. 1099 02:01:09,500 --> 02:01:11,125 - You want to see? - Hm. 1100 02:01:11,250 --> 02:01:14,125 Watch this. Tell me how much water goes in my brain. 1101 02:01:14,250 --> 02:01:15,500 - OK? - OK. 1102 02:01:25,708 --> 02:01:26,583 See? 1103 02:01:28,542 --> 02:01:29,875 OK, pull. 1104 02:01:30,000 --> 02:01:32,625 I have a very important game. 1105 02:01:34,583 --> 02:01:38,083 I'm gonna put my whole head underwater. 1106 02:01:38,542 --> 02:01:39,583 OK. 1107 02:01:39,708 --> 02:01:43,000 And we look at each other underwater. 1108 02:01:44,792 --> 02:01:47,292 - What game is this? - I made it up. 1109 02:02:00,000 --> 02:02:01,458 The key is... 1110 02:02:03,167 --> 02:02:04,542 ...make up shit. 1111 02:02:14,167 --> 02:02:17,417 I'm not speaking out of my asshole when I say this. 1112 02:02:19,500 --> 02:02:20,417 Come in. 1113 02:02:23,917 --> 02:02:25,417 The water will hold you. 1114 02:05:00,167 --> 02:05:01,542 Anything. 1115 02:05:05,500 --> 02:05:06,917 Anything. Anywhere. 1116 02:05:07,042 --> 02:05:09,000 Anything. Anywhere. Anything. 1117 02:05:09,125 --> 02:05:11,917 Anywhere. Anything. Anywhere. Anything. Anywhere. 1118 02:05:13,917 --> 02:05:15,250 Anything. 1119 02:05:17,125 --> 02:05:18,208 Anything. 1120 02:05:18,333 --> 02:05:19,667 Anything. 1121 02:08:09,500 --> 02:08:10,875 Subtitling by MPS